My Partner Wants To Use Toys in the Bedroom - Am I Being Replaced?

This is a question we hear a lot, and while the short answer is a resounding NO, the long answer can actually be a lot more fun...

Whether you and your partner have been together for 1 year or 40 years, it can be quite confronting to suddenly have the question posed to you; can we use a toy during sex?

Can I start by saying congratulations for building such a loving relationship that your partner feels comfortable enough to broach the subject, and not forget that it took courage for them to ask the question.

Don't panic - panic is just your insecurities creeping in!! Common thoughts a partner may have when confronted with this question are:

Why would I use those?
My partner doesn't need anything more than me.
If I use sex toys then s/he won't need me anymore.
I can't compete with a machine.
Is s/he trying to tell me I suck in bed?
S/he's just going to do this by herself now?

The above fears are perfectly normal, but are based in insecurity, and therefore do not reflect the truth of bringing a toy into your sexual relationship.

Animated couple in a sensual embrace using a wand or personal massager for pleasure.

Trust us when we say that your partner is not looking to make you doubt your sexual abilities by introducing a vibrator.

Nor is your partner trying to diminish the level of satisfaction that they feel during intercourse or trying to replace you with a machine. Your partner is courageously opening-up the door to new possibilities of sexual pleasure within your relationship.

The plain truth is this: more than 70% of women need more than penetration to achieve an orgasm...

It has been a more popular topic as of late, the so called- closing the orgasm gap. The orgasm gap refers to the fact that in heterosexual sexual encounters, men have more orgasms than women.  According to a 2016 study that looked at over 52,500 adults in the U.S. — including those who are lesbian, gay, and bisexual — 95 percent of heterosexual men reported they usually or always orgasmed during sex, compared to 65 percent of heterosexual women.

Put simply, introducing a vibrator or other toys, can help put your sexual experiences on a more even playing field.

But what should you do if you are feeling intimidated by the prospect of having your partner introduce a new sex toy?

You could ask to watch your partner use it. Doing this will allow you see how your partner enjoys being touched. The act of witnessing your partner pleasuring themselves in front of you is certainly going to arouse you.

You could ask to try the sex toy yourself. Many vibrators not only feel good for the woman, but they also provide men with extra pleasure as well.

If you are feeling an anatomy-inferior complex because of the toy—don't. Vibrators no longer look like the old school replicas of a giant phallus (although this option still exists if that is what you're into!). Modern vibrators are beautiful and even cute little silky soft vibrating beasts of pleasure (such as the cute couples whale vibe seen below). No need to think your equipment isn't up to par— it's really not a competition but an exquisite addition to pleasurable sex.

In fact, introducing sex toys can bring couples closer together in and out of the bedroom. Why is that? because it opens up the communication aspect of intimacy; which in turn means better quality of sex...

Translation—Happier people 😁

So, introduce sex toys into your relationship and witness the elevation of pleasure and connection...

Check out the Quiet Achiever's collection of the best toys for couples as recommended by Women's Health Magazine here.

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