Is Your Body Image Ruining Your Sex Life?
Sadly, the majority of women can attest to having body images issues for at least a part of their lives. If you're reading this then, odds are, you are one of those women, but have you ever thought about how this might negatively affect your sex life?
If you have negative thoughts about an area of your body that you wish was different then you can start to feel uncomfortable when getting intimate with a partner.
As an oprah.com article on the matter states: studies show that shame and anxiety about one's body lead to the avoidance of physical closeness and reduced sexual satisfaction. "Women with poor body image don't initiate sex as often, and they're more self-conscious," says Ann Kearney-Cooke, PhD, director of the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute. "Sexual intimacy involves the sharing of your innermost essence with another person, and being able to pay attention to yourself as well as to your partner." If you're preoccupied with your body, Kearney-Cooke says—if you're thinking, Is my stomach sticking out? Has he noticed the cellulite on my butt?—you obviously won't be focusing on his desires or yours, or be present in the moment. It's like having a third, unwelcome person in the room: you, your lover, and your cellulite. How intimate is that?
Unfortunately the solution isn't easy as body image issues usually have been building since we were young girls. There's even an understanding in psychology that if your mum didn't like what she saw in the mirror, then you probably won't either. Another factor to how we see ourselves is projection, this is when we unload onto other people or things (like our bodies) feelings we're having a hard time with. For example, if you are suddenly struck with the feeling of being needy while texting somebody you care a lot about, you can suddenly be left thinking that you wish your tummy/thighs/whatever was smaller.
What about if your mum genuinely had nothing but love for her body, and your own experience of childhood left you with nothing but confidence and love for your own? Well then you've still got the challenge of 'current society' to deal with. The distorted ideal of what a beautiful woman should look like which is apparent in media and seems to be mirrored everywhere we turn. Not to mention the big-wig companies who are profiting off women's insecurities. This gap between what we think we are supposed to look like, and what we actually look like, leaves lots of room for self-doubt and shame.
So What Can We Do About It?
Be confident! No really! I'm not suggesting it's easy, but it is so true that confidence is sexy! So how can you get more comfortable and confident in your body and feel sexier in your own skin? Start doing what feels good, indulge your senses a little, try a new style, exercise to feel good in your mind - not to lose weight, and, of course, take time to enjoy and love your body (we can help with providing the tools to help with this!).
Shop the Quiet Achiever's range of award winning vibrators and body-safe toys here.
Read more of the Oprah.com article here:
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