A Guide for Women Who Are No Longer Interested In Sex With Their Husband

It’s normal for desire to ebb and flow in long-term relationships. If you find yourself no longer interested in sex with your husband or partner, you’re not alone. Let’s explore some strategies to address this situation as well as exploring some possible explanations. Remember that even during tough times, your partner should always respect your concerns.


A black and white image of a man and a woman under a clear umbrella pictured from the torso up. they are looking into each others' eyes with their noses touching and smiling.

1. Communicate Openly

  • Express Your Feelings: Calmly share your emotions with your husband. Explain that you’ve noticed a change in your desire and want to work together to improve intimacy.
  • Listen to His Perspective: Understand his feelings too. Honest communication is crucial for finding solutions.

2. Explore the Reasons

  • Stress and Exhaustion: Life’s demands can significantly impact desire. Share responsibilities and create time for relaxation and self-care1.
  • Physical Health: Consider any health issues affecting your libido. Consult a doctor if needed.
  • Emotional Connection: Reflect on your emotional bond. Revisit shared memories and activities that once ignited passion.

3. Problem-Solve Together

  • Prioritize Emotional Intimacy: Emotional closeness often leads to physical intimacy. Spend quality time together, express affection, and reminisce about your early relationship. Have fun together!
  • Be Creative: Experiment with different times of day or settings for intimacy. Maybe morning or afternoon works better than nighttime.
  • Seek Professional Help: If the issue persists, consider couples’ counseling or sex therapy. These professionals can guide you toward solutions23.

4. Accept the Truth

  • Facing Reality: Sometimes, a partner may no longer be interested in sex. It’s essential to acknowledge this truth.
  • Explore Options: Discuss possibilities—sex therapy, opening the relationship, or even parting ways. Honesty is key to finding a semi-satisfactory solution2.
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Remember, every relationship is unique. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you navigate this challenge. Prioritize open communication, emotional connection, and a willingness to adapt. You’re not alone, and there are ways to rekindle intimacy, but remember that there is no shame in leaving a relationship if it is no longer meeting your needs. Life is short and it is not fair on either of you to stay in an unfulfilling relationship. If you have exhausted the suggestions above, it may be time for some hard truths with yourself.


This article was compiled by our resident expert and scientist, Ami Reid, CEO of The Quiet Achiever. The Quiet Achiever is New Zealand's only women owned and operated sexual wellness store that sells only 100% body-safe toys and tools to women and couples. You can shop their products or learn more here or by following the link below:

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